At 28 all of my crucial life decisions have been preceded by a long mental and emotional rollercoaster… I’m still learning how to spare myself (and those closest to me that graciously act as my resident sounding boards) from going on this enlightening but exhausting ride, or atleast maintain a little more grace through the lows and highs. Significant transitions are full of pushing and pulling, grief, excitement, regret, gratitude, fear, joy, relief, worry… the duality that fills these periods is intrinsically disorienting. There’s different opinions on how to remedy this… but one of the things that has helped me is the acceptance that to some degree it’s unavoidable. When you start feeling like the “supposed tos” and “shoulds” you’re desperately clinging onto aren’t lining up with God’s “meant tos” for you, the discomfort and periods of inertia throughout the transition are inevitable. Change is abrupt but painfully slow all at the same time.
I’ve always believed I could control the efficiency of (my) life. After having an attachment to that perspective for as long as I can remember, it’s humbling to step into this next chapter owning that the whole time it has mainly been anxiety disguised as control.
So, after a long summer with only a few things going how I anticipated… I’m grateful to have come out the other side excited about my next step. In just a couple weeks I’m moving to New York to go to culinary school at the Institute of Culinary Education. I can’t believe how unexpected but aligned this move feels. I’m excited to share more. This will be a whole new type of adventure and challenge for me…
